Les maximes du management moderne

(Elles sont trop belles en anglais et je suis un trop mauvais traducteur,
alors je vous les livre telles quelles:)

• Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings,
  they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
• If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...
  then you probably haven't completely understood
  the seriousness of the situation....

• Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
• A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.
• Plagiarism saves time.
• If at first you don't succeed, try management.
• Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
• TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.
• The beatings will continue until morale improves.
• Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
• We waste time, so you don't have to.
• Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
• Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
• A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
• When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
• INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
• Succeed in spite of management.
• Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

(source : un camarade anonyme qui veut garder sa place...)